Party Like Its 1999.

New Year's Eve. A chance to reflect on the past year & dream about the coming.

This time last year, I was spent. I was torn, much like I find myself on a daily basis.

I wanted 2010 to be finished because of the heartache we endured while also feeling sadness that we were 'moving on' in the wake of Daddy's passing. I was utterly miserable in almost every aspect of my life & longed for the New Year to bring its promise of a New Chapter.

Boy, I had no clue.

I've said before that I am not a fan of change - I am a creature of habit & love my routine. Well, 2011 rocked my world - my little slice of life barely resembles who I was this time last year.

I have & continue to grieved Daddy's passing, I became pregnant after a quick decision to 'see what happens', I quit the job that I had worked towards since I was a high school freshman, I enjoyed 6 'free' months between quitting my job & giving birth - taking care of Daddy's remaining 'business' & taking care of myself, I gave birth to the most precious child I could have NEVER imagined would be mine... Yowzers.

Looking onward to the coming year, I have a few goals that I would like to strive for, I thought I would mention them here for accountability with myself:

Take care of myself. Physically, I want to plan to run a 5k. I have lost 27 pounds since becoming pregnant & haven't felt this good, physically, in 5 years. I am enjoying having more energy & the compliments from my husband. I also want to establish some hobbies that I make time to do for myself - I would love to write a column for a local newspaper or just continue to blog here on a more regular basis, etc. I know that to be a good mother & wife, I need to take care of myself to be my healthiest & happiest.

Revamp our household budget. I love money & I love micro-managing it. To be completely honest (for my own accountability), our spending habits haven't changed much since I quit working & obviously, they need to. Now that things have settled down from all of the changes we've encountered this past year, it is time to get serious about our budget again. I love the monthly challenge of detailed budgeting & saving our money - I've missed it. I know that we both love to feel financially secure & as the organizer/planner, I need to do a better job of keeping our accounts in check.

Give my little family my best. I am (very) often convicted that I spend too much time on the internet, watching trashy television, putting outside commitments first, etc. when I should be focusing on my two favorite people. Before all else, I want to be the best wife & mother I can be. I want to speak encouragement in to their lives, I want them to find comfort in me & the life I create for them in our home. It is my upmost heart's desire & I must make it a priority.

Find a church home. We've missed being apart of a congregation & we want Prater to be raised in southern baptist church like the both of us were - we want for her to have a strong foundation in Jesus. We are going to make finding a church home a priority & 'get plugged in'.

Needs not wants. Our home is completely furnished with more items in storage. My closet & chest-of-drawers are full of beautiful things. I want to be mindful of the difference of needs & wants. And when I do make purchases, I want to be intentional - do I absolutely LOVE this want, can I get this item from a small business, can I buy this handmade, can my purchase help others (Toms, 147 Million), can we have a potluck picnic instead of eating lunch at a restaurant? I want to spend our money wisely, & in these areas, I want to focus on sped intentionally, mindfully, & creating memories instead of buying 'things'.

Calm down. I am doing lots better in this category but I want to continue to grow & self reflect. I want to worry less about things that do not involve me/my little family, things I cannot change, have any control over, or, & why is this so dang hard, what people think of me. I want to support those closest to me: even if I don't necessarily agree with their decisions, understanding that it's important to them. I want to hold my tongue when the toilet paper roll is empty. "Don't make a mountain out of a mole hill." as Daddy would say.

I'm sure there are more that I am forgetting or that will arise as we pass through the year, these are just some highlights that have been weighing heavily on my mind & in my heart.

Happy 2012, y'all! Blessings!