I just need to throw up some words. Here we go:
This weather & time change is GIVING ME LIFE! I usually love winter - I enjoy the cold & the layers of clothes but FOR THE LOVE, I am so over the sickness & keeping these kids inside & away from people. I feel like we will hit the ground running once it warms up for good - I'm anxiously awaiting Zoo trips & picnics in the park & splash pad fun... The timing will be perfect because the babies will be old enough to join in!
I randomly weighed myself yesterday - I've lost 5 pounds - lowest number I've seen on the scale since... High school maybe? I think that my body was much slimmer looking right before I got pregnant with the twins though - their pregnancy wrecked my body (obviously I would do it all over again, I'm just stating facts). My hips still ache daily & things just do not fit like they once did - with the warmer weather coming along & the twinkies getting closer to being a year old (WHAT?!), I'm also anxious to get back in to a running routine. I hope to shed another 15 pounds to reach my first "big" weight loss goal. After that I'll reevaluate & see if I wanna try for another 15 that'll put me at that special height/weight number that we all compare ourselves to. More than anything I'm just looking forward to having more energy & feeling better physically from the exercise!
As we are nearing 3 years old, the tantrums are in full swing. I'm not being overly dramatic when I say that I'm certain they will be the death of me. This mess is hard core. I want so badly to nurture her spirit & not squash it but I also don't want my toddler throwing herself on the floor when she's told 'no' or when it's bedtime - when she's clearly just mad that she isn't getting her way or wants to stay up late even though she's beyond tired. Oh, she tries my patience & my grace-giving desire. But then she does things like introduce her baby sisters by saying "This is Giles, this is Hat-hat. Yes, they're twins." (because we haven't been asked that often or anything...) & we laugh & melt at her charm. I know that I say it all the time but DANG, PARENTING IS HARD! And then I look at the twins & it scares me that we have to do this all again. Times two.
This weekend was fabulous. The weather was great & our schedule was relatively free. We just piddled & played & enjoyed ourselves. It was so lovely, so much so that I'm sad to see it end. I have deviated from my goal for the year of letting go & creating quiet some... & have suffered because of it. In those moments, I've become ill & overwhelmed & overly tired & scattered. But I've regrouped & reassured myself in the reasons that I set that goal & am I'm feeling much better. I'm loving saying 'no' & 'yes'. No - to things that will stretch me too thin or overwhelm me or wreck my girls' routines - all recipes for disaster. And yes - to my family, to my husband. I'm learning that while we thrive in an organized environment, it doesn't have to be absolutely spotless 24-7. That we can wear laundry out of clothes baskets every once in a while because it isn't the end of the world that I didn't put them away fresh out of the dryer. And that we can eat grilled hotdogs with homemade fries for supper once every two weeks because I don't have to spend 30 minutes in the kitchen on a healthy & carefully thought out meal every night. While the people pleaser in me hates to tell people that I love no, even when I know I'd enjoy myself, I am LOVING the freedom of no in this season. And because I'm a woman who care entirely too much about what people think, being real here, I struggle with people wondering if I can't "handle it all" I'm saying no - but in this season of easily overly tired babies, babies who only want to nurse from their Mama & not from bottles, toddlers who NEED afternoon naps, & for the sake of my tired body & nerves needing quietness, craving it - it's my reality. And I'm enjoying it.
I booked a cabin in the mountains for our first vacation as a family for this coming fall & I am so flipping excited! We haven't been on a vacation, well since our honeymoon technically. We've been on a few overnight trips, we've been very blessed to travel with Aaron's work to Destin, we've been on a few short trips with other family members but just us, for an extended period of time... It's been almost 6 years. We chose Pigeon Forge because it isn't too long of a drive for the girls, it has something for everyone, & we love the mountains. Aaron's excited to go fishing in the creek that our cabin overlooks, we plan to take the girls to the Aquarium, & I'm just excited to getaway with my people!
I am excited about some financial decisions we are making this year - it's nothing earth shattering but we are really trying to focus on being good stewards with what we're blessed with. I'm excited for what this all means for our family! I love money management & it excites me to have goals!
I'm also excited about Easter - it always just makes me happy. It's so cheerful & uplifting. The little girls & I haven't been to church since Thanksgiving. After their bout with RSV, it's just been too much of a risk during this cold & flu season. I am planning on Easter being our first Sunday back & am literally counting down the Sundays! I'm also excited because I snatched all of the girls matching Easter dresses last year on massive sale so I don't have to worry about trying to go shopping now. I'm just going to wear something that I already have with a cardigan that belonged to my Nanny - growing up Easter dress shopping was a BIG deal for my Nanny & my Mom, I always LOVED going shopping with them for a special dress! I can't wait to be back at church, worshipping with my church family, it's been a LONG winter.
The other day I was thinking about the girls' 6th month pictures, I'm taking a special prop that is connected to my Paw Paw Prater & started to tell Aaron "we'll have to be sure..." & was going to finish the sentence with "get Daddy a framed picture of that." It amazes me that my mind somehow still doesn't fully comprehend that he's gone. That he's been gone for almost 4 years. I can't even.
My babies will be 1 in 4 months. Prater will be 3 in 6 months. Tear. Yes, their parties are already planned.
Speaking of birthdays, Elijah Banx turns 10 this year! Shut up! I'm thinking that I may plan a silly something so that the girls can celebrate him - I cannot believe it's been 10 years since Aaron, Daddy, & I picked him up in Mississippi.
Welp, I could really go on & on but, I mean, look at all of this nonsense above - bless. I suppose I'll head to bed, all of my people have been asleep for hours while I caught up DVR & enjoyed a little blog therapy. If it's pretty in the morning, I've got plans for getting out of this house & getting moving!
*Let the record show, I usually proofread my posts before posting them - ain't nobody got time for that - I apologize for misspellings & grammatical errors.*
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad